I stood as quiet as I could she backed away and a few minutes later heard her exit her room . I bolted back to my room closed the door silently behind me and then heard footsteps coming down the basement stairs, I could her someone walking around , but stayed in my room until I heard whoever it was go back up stairs. That night at dinner Amy asked her father if he could help move her dresser and rehang her mirror I thought Oh well it was good while it lasted.That was on a Friday night and I was going to my Grand parents for the weekend this whole time Amy and I interaction was strained , she uprooted me from my room and I think she viewed me as the little dickhead step-brother , but upon returning from my weekend away she greeted me with a warm " Hey little b*o , how was your weekend . Hey I moved some stuff around in my room and don't have room for that chair that was in there , so I put down in the store room , hope it,s not in a bad place for you " and ended with a. I knowthat each of you reading this know what I am speaking of. It as if youare going through the motions, but not really alive. You know there ismore out there, but you sit idly by waiting for it to come slap you inface.That was me, one foot in the vanilla world, one foot in the Fem Dommeworld. I actually felt fortunate that I was able to live in both worldswith some success, but looking back I now realize just how unfulfillingthat existence was. Not belonging, not being the property of another isnot being alive it is existing.I believe in past lives. I do! How else could you possibly explain mydesire to submit to the neighborhood girls when I was only 7 or 8? Howelse do you explain thoughts in my head at age 12 or 13 I should get onhormones now, when I knew nothing about such things? Yes I have been aslave before. I have found comfort there like many of you. It is where Ifeel the best, like many of you! But we all feel the pressure ofsociety, and the desire to run back to.
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